In the category of “things that should have happened a long time ago,” a new Anchorman-themed bar has opened in the Lower East Side. Lucky for me, it’s only forty-five minutes out of the way when I’m coming home from work, therefore I will be stopping in nightly.
To be fair, the bar is actually Will Ferrell-themed, not Anchorman-themed, and it offers, for example, cocktails named after lots of his movies, not justAnchorman. But let’s be really clear here: Anchorman was the best Will Ferrell movie. (I will accept no objections to this.) Ok, maybe Step Brothers was but that can, in large part, be attributed to the genius that IS John C. Riley.Anyway, the bar owners must have mulled this over for days before coming to the name the place Stay Classy New York.
And classy ’tis.
The cocktail menu is basically the best thing I’ve ever seen, heard or read. As you muddle through your divorce proceedings, methinks you’ll find considerable solace at the end of the day by burying your troubles in a Smelly Pirate Hooker (it’s a cocktail, people—get your minds out of the gutter) and/or a Whale’s Vagina.
Now, while I can confidently assure you that I am not in any way being compensated by Stay Classy New York to promote them or their awesome cocktails, I will tell you this: the first Anchorman movie more or less made me the man I am today. I now routinely use lines like “Don’t act like you’re not impressed” while showing off the many leather-bound books in my office. You only think I’m kidding.
So how should you make the most of this new NYC resource as you begin a new chapter in your life? Some suggestions:
- Invite people to Stay Classy as a part of your whole making new friends exercise.
- Come to Stay Classy when you just need a break from people asking uncomfortable questions.
- Meet a blind date here. Even if it goes horribly, you’ll have lots of Will Ferrell memorabilia to fill the awkward gaps in conversations.
- Establish this as your new “local bar,” even if it’s not actually local. Make everyone meet you here.
- Come here to read all of the Open Letters (they will be increasingly good as you work your way through the cocktail menu).