9 Elevator Speeches to Put Your Divorce in a Nutshell

You know that awkward moment when you don’t feel like talking about your divorce but somebody asks and you don’t want to be impolite? I mean when you’re past the “leave me alone” stage, but not quite to the “everything’s actually fine” stage. It’s that murky middle area when the divorce is still fresh—and everyone keeps asking uncomfortable questions?

Well, to handle that, enter the elevator pitch! Elevator speeches or elevator pitches are known as such because the whole point is brevity: can you get through them in the time it takes to ride the elevator (right before you walk away as quickly as humanly possible). While the elevator speech helps the upwardly mobile (haha, see what I did there?) make their point by the time they get their floor, it helps you do exactly the same thing—make the point quickly, minimizing the risk of tears, breakdowns, embarrassing rants, etc.

Here are a few of the best divorce elevator speeches I’ve come across so far. Feel free to use!

If You Still Like Your Ex as a Person

  • “We now know there are things that prevent us from being married to each other. It’s not one or the other’s fault, and we hope the best for each other.”
  • “S/He’s a wonderful person, and we’re glad for the time we had together, but we’ve decided it’s best for both of us if we head different directions now.”

If You Don’t

  • “I finally figured out that I should matter.”
  • “I found out where the missing money was going.”
  • “Ashley Madison.”

If You Don’t Feel Like Sharing

  • “We grew apart.”
  • “It just didn’t work out.”
  • “I’m going through a divorce. I don’t feel much like talking about it, but I truly appreciate your kind words and support.”
  • “It is what it is.”

Have a good one to add, or any other tips for dealing with stuff post-divorce? I’m all ears! Tweet to me or leave a comment below.

For more of my commentary on dealing with life after divorce, check out my recent posts How to Make New Friends after Your Divorce and 

Getting a divorce? Feel free to contact me for advice about that, too.

James J. Sexton