If you’re anything like me, you’ve been waiting for something as entertaining as Downton Abbey to come out, holding out but little hope.
Alas, your tiny hope is not to be in vain! This Friday marks the release of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, a rather wily take on the Jane Austen classic, adapted from the book of the same name. In this zany flick you get all the wit and wisdom of Austen, and all the apocalyptic gore of zombies, in one awesome package. If you did have plans for this weekend, they’re obviously all now going to be taking a backseat to seeing this movie.
In honor of the original and the unmatched Pride and Prejudice as well as this refreshingly irreverent take on feminism and great literature, here are a few things we ALL can learn from P&P heroine Elizabeth Bennet—the old and the new.
Liz Bennet wouldn’t have gotten married. She’d have been too busy slaying zombies.
Way too many people get married because they have very few other goals at a particular moment in time; it just seemed like the obvious next step. I think a good way to remedy this in modern life is to introduce a zombie apocalypse.
If she DID get married, Liz Bennet would have had a prenup.
Why? Because she’s a realist. Prenups aren’t just for CEOs marrying supermodels, folks—they’re for everybody. Much like that extra dagger she keeps tucked in her corset, Liz Bennet knows only chumps don’t have backup.
If she decided to get divorced, Liz Bennet would have kicked ass in court. And out of court.
As is evident from the pages of the novel itself, Liz Bennet is no slouch when it comes to laying down the law. In short: Don’t mess with her. She’ll end you.
Liz Bennet would be an awesome co-parent.
She’s able to keep her emotions in check under stress, she (usually) makes excellent judgments, and she knows how to work as part of a team—this is what makes her great zombie-killing and co-parenting alike.
Liz Bennet is okay with an imperfect reality.
This film is taking Liz Bennet’s ability to adapt to a whole new level, making the most of her well-known tolerance for irritants—whether they come in the form of zombies or men who don’t know how to communicate their emotions properly.
So life wasn’t exactly what you had in mind. Liz Bennet would tell you, quite rightly, to get your s*** together and slay some zombies.
So, what’s your favorite Liz Bennet moment? Did she perhaps even inspire you during a tough divorce? And most importantly, are you seeing this movie?
James J. Sexton